Friday, July 18

A update to those past events .

July , worst month of this year .
I burned my finqer today durinq dnt .
Dnt period is always a " injurinq period " for me .
Yesterday , that stupid screwdriver hit me while im screwinq th screw .
Its not th screwdriver which moved , is th stupid hands of mine .
Din even knw how to hold it properly
&& today qot burned by th thinqy .

Yesterday yesterday , hit by netball on my left eye durinq PE :x
Th ball jus fly over && my face qot smack by it .
Stupid rebounce of th ball .

This few days , im totally moodless .
Because of th brkup .
I still love him as much as last time .
It has been th most saddeninq thinq for me , seriously .
I keep tellinq myself , iie must be happy .
I must not let my friends , sisters , family && him especially ,
worry about me .
But ,
Whenever im alone , iie would think of him && tears will start to form .
I miss him . I wonder did he think of me ?.
He seems to be much more happier without me .
Did my presence make him not happy ?.
Sometimes , I just hope tht iie could be with him aqain .
Proof to him that iie really love him
&& make him understands my feelinqs towards him .
Stupid isnt ?. Haas .
But still , Im qoinq to wait .
Wait till th day when he discover im still there for him .
I hope that day comes .
Sayinq qoodbye to eachother , its hurtinq .
I din reqret steadinq with him neither do iie hate him .
As lonq as hes happy , whatever iie do is just worth it .
Im smilinq on th outside , bleedinq in th inside .
Althouqh , it hurts .
But , iie still have th urqe to be by his side && shares my everythinq with him .
I miss him , iie really do .
I really hope hes doinq fine .
Upon hearinq tht hes emo , im worried .
How iie wish im just riqht beside of him && cheer him up .
Instead of watchinq frm faraway , hidinq .
In my heart , theres always a place for him , waitinq for him to be back .
I cherish him but , why did iie still lose him ?.
This question have been with me eversince th brkup .
Yesterday , iie passed-by alot of places .
Filled with memories of this past two months .
I miss those times when he ride me home .
I always feel safe with him by my side .
It all flashed passed my mind .
His concentration when hes playinq basketball ,
Everythinq he did .
Those photos he laminated for me ,
his smile && lauqhters .
I watched th thinqy iie made for him on our first month .
I really enjoyed .
But now ,
I just couldnt smile && lauqh like last time .
I feel tht im wearinq a mask with a smiley on it .
Just puttinq up an act of beinq happy .
Who really understands how im feelinq ?.
No one iie quess .
Its terrible .
I quess , those words are true .
Lovinq someone , is to tolerate && qive in .
Willinq to sacrifise for him .
For now , iie quess iie could only see him frm far
&& wish hes happy .

他 , 永远都不会了解我对他的暧昧 .
我只好相信他总有一天会回来 ,
期待着 , 盼望着 那一天会实现 .
星星 , 这是我想实现的愿望 .

Thanks these people for beinq there for me .

Fiona , Yeesenq , Iris , Isabella , Weitinq , Guekchee ,
Edwina , Dennon , Benjamin && Junze .
xiexie .!

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